Buddhafied

Milo and Nyac

I used to be a special event security supervisor at the Vancouver Aquarium at night (you heard it right, security guard!). They sometimes do small functions there for corporations. Along with the beautiful fish tanks, dopey looking sea lions and the amazing beluga whales, the sea otters, Milo and Nyac, at the Vancouver Aquarium had to be one of the biggest celebrities there.

This video of them holding hands captured millions of people's heart:

 

(for those who don't know, Milo is the lighter one and Nyac the darker)

I had the privilege of standing right up to them and watched them doing that all night peacefully. They're honestly the cutest couples I've ever seen. Sometimes, when they drifted apart while falling asleep, one of them will wake up (usually Milo) realizing they're no longer holding hands and quickly swim back holding hands again. It's as if they can't stand being away from each other.

Nyac passed away a few years back and tonight our beloved Milo also passed away from battling lymphoma for over 6 months (which is ironic to me as I posted about Team in Training last night...)

Thank you for bringing us joy with your love for each other, Milo and Nyac. May you two hold hands forever.

Picture from Globe and Mail.

#24/365 Milo and Nyac

Team in Training

If I have to pick one single best decision I have made for myself last year, it will have to be joining Team in Training. 

In a nutshell, Team in Training is the world's largest endurance sports training program. They provide trainings, mentorings and they pay for the cost of athletes to go to all kinds of races in the world; all they ask is the athletes to fundraise for the Leukemia and Lumphoma Society. 

Around last January, I had just broken up with Scott for about 2 months. I started living by myself and it was a very mentally challenging time for me. I heard this ad on the radio which they promote about TnT going to the San Diego Rock n' Roll Marathon. Maybe because I needed to find something to do, maybe I felt that I should be helping people instead of staying home all the time, or maybe it was just because of fate, I decided to go to the information session. I signed up for the race on the spot and I remember thinking what have I got myself into.

Then week after week, I went to the group training sessions. At first, it was very awkward when I have to hangout with strangers that I felt having nothing I can relate to... I mean, most of the people there have a very specific reason to join Team and Training and the cause is very close to their heart. As much as I have done a lot of fundraisings for cancer researche and love doing so, I actually don't have a very direct connection with cancer. But still, I stuck with it because the people were nice enough and it was good to get out of bed at 6am on Sunday morning instead of wasting my time.

Slowly, I started to learn while I run. I will talk to myself in my head when I run and confront with my angers, my darkest secrets and the sense of lost of what was happening to me back then; instead of running away from my problems, I felt that I have nowhere to go but to run straight in to them. Eventually, running became a form of meditation for me (which I haven't done for a very long time), and I was able to make peace and progress on my recovery.

It was so simple as well. All I have to do is to make one step at a time. That is all I have to care about – one foot in front of the other. As long as I do that, I'm moving forward. I might not be able to see the end of the road, but every step that I made counts. One step at a time, a concept that I have never able to understand until I start running.

With my heart starting to lighten up, I slowly became more open and talk to people in the training group. They ended up being an important part of my life. They will joke with me that I'm always a few minutes late to the gathering but showing up with my Starbucks cup. It might sound silly, but it was just enough attention I needed from people I felt that there are others who care for my existence. Regardless of what their initiative, these are people who care about other humans, that's why they join the Team. For a person who often lose faith in the human race, it's a breathe of fresh air. Six months after the race in San Diego, I still get messages from these friends of mine. Running with them every second week and then hanging out for brunch afterward has become one of the highlights of my week.

With all that Team in Training has given me, I thought it was only appropriate that I give back. That's why I signed up mentoring for the San Diego run this year. I want to be part of someone's journey to recover something they might have lost or to discover something they have yet to be found.

#23/365 Team in Training

Final Fantasy XIII

So, four days into the New Year and I've already accomplished one of my goals! Not all that surprised but it's a video game goal... and to be honest, I was meant to finish the game before the New Year but a few projects was on deadline around then and I didn't have time to finish it. Anyway, it's still nice to be able to cross out one item on the list this early on!

I've been a Final Fantasy fan since the 6th installment of the series. Like a good fanboy, I lined up at midnight to get the Final Fantasy XIII on March, 2010. But similar to many Final Fantasy fans, I was a little disappointed with the game and eventually stopped playing it. I started playing again when I got my HDTV last month and, surprisingly, I like it.

I've been a fan of Final Fantasy since their 6th installment. I've played all of the games in the series since then but have only finished one game. The problem is there is usually so much to do right before the last dungeon of the game that I spend hours trying to collect things, level up, upgrade weapons, etc that by the time I put another 40-50 hours into the game, I either lost interest or that I have other more important stuff to do. I had played Final Fantasy VI (my favourite game in the series) at least 10 times and worked my way to the final part of the game but never finish the final boss fight. That is why this year I have goals to finish three of the games. It's hard to call myself a fan when I don't even finish these games!

#21/365 Final Fantasy XIII

Furry Walls

Recent years, I have come to terms that I am a movie snob.

Now, I'll like to point out despite that I call myself that, I will still go to a movie that I think will be bad if enough people wanted to go see it. I will watch it prejudicially but be extremely critical about it. In particular, I am picky with comedies. I like watching a comedy that has a little bit of substance instead of just cheap laughs. I know... I did say I am a snob. (Just for the fun of it, see how many times I make a snarky remark about other movies in this entry. Starts... now!)

In 2010, there were two comedies that I love: Easy A and Get Him to the Greek.

Get Him to the Greek was sort of a prequel of Forgetting Marshall (which I like but not love). The plot was simple, Aaron Green, a low-level talent scout played by pre-skinny version of Jonah Hill, needs to get Aldous Snow, a substance abused fallen rock star played by pre-married version of Russell Brand, to the Greek Theatre in LA for the 10 year anniversary of his legendary show. It was a little "what else can go wrong" sort of movie but not to the level of extremeness like the overrated Hungover. 

There were a turning point in this movie, it was a bit half way through the movie when Aaron accidentally intake some 'Jeffery' ("why the *beep* is it called Jeffrey?" "Cause who could be scared of Jeffrey? Jeffrey’s just a nice bloke from down the road") and did some crazy things. Through this weird incident, both characters broke through and resolved something that they weren't able to do prior to it. And this leads us to today's topic – Furry Walls (yes, it took me a while, but at least there is a reason for my post and not about teenage girl deciding between necrophilia and bestiality that lasted 5 movies)

While Aaron was high and thought he had a heart attack, Aldous had to comfort him and the only thing he had in front of his was a furry wall. He told Aaron to just keep on stroking the furry wall and everything will be fine. It was a crazy scene and I know it doesn't make much sense but it happened. At the end of the movie, Aldous wrote a song, and the lyrics was just as crazy:

When the world slips you a Jeffery,
Stroke the furry wall,
Stroke the furry wall,

Furry walls don't bring me down,
Furry walls please stay around,
Furry walls,
Furry walls

Furry walls kiss me to sleep,
Furry walls please help me read,
Furry walls,
Furry walls

Furry walls can take you on a magic carpet ride,
Furry walls surround you till you got no place to hide,
Let your furry fingers be your guide

Furry walls turn out the light,
Furry walls please stay the night,
Furry walls,
Furry walls

Furry walls let's have a taste,
Furry walls sit on my face,
Furry walls,
Furry walls

Maybe I'm in heaven with the furry skies above,
All around are furry clouds, look, here's a furry dove,
Let me stroke your furry walls of love,
Furry walls,
Furry walls

Furry walls, I am amazed,
Furry walls, we're in a daze,
Furry walls,
Furry walls

Don't be in a hurry, things aren't the way they were,
Shaggy walls of loveliness, it's all a furry blur,
Maybe I'm in heaven with the furry skies above,
All around are furry clouds, look, here's a furry dove,
Let the walls caress you in a showering of love,
Furry walls,
Furry walls

Furry walls, I'm gonna cry,
Furry walls, please lift me high,
Furry walls,
Furry walls

You may ask, why does this crazy song or the concept of furry walls intrigues me? Because it make sense to me and I can actually relate to that.

When life hits you with something unexpected, sometimes all you can do is to hold onto something and keep tell yourself that everything is going to be okay. Furry wall is really the same concept, as crazy it may sound, of My Favourite Things. You remind yourself with what your dreams are, what makes you happy until finally you break out of that cycle of fear and uncertain. Finding peace in things.

We sometimes just need that furry walls. When I was going through my darkest moments I sometimes remember the scene and the lyrics of this song "and then I don't feel... so bad!"

#20/365 – Furry Walls

The Comeback

It's not a secret that I love the TV series Friends, afterall I do have all ten seasons on DVDs. I love all the characters on Friends but when it comes to making me laugh, Lisa Kudrow gets my vote. I didn't pay much attention to her post-Friends career until, in Austin last November, Marv introduced me to this series called The Comeback.

The show only lasted a short season of 13 episodes on HBO, but boy it was good! It was about a has-been TV star, Valerie Cherish, trying to make it big again by taking on a minor (and terrible) role in a new sit-com while making a reality TV show on the side called "The Comeback", hence the name of this series. We, the viewer, actually watch the "raw footage" of this fictional reality TV show and see what really is going on in Valerie Cherish's life. The series was funny, intended awkward and, like many Lisa Kudrow's post-Friends project I found after watching this show, heavily improved. At times, it's even hard to watch because you just feel for Valerie!

I also like how tough Valerie Cherish was in the show. She was vunlerable but she fight through a lot of difficult moments. She was a survivor!

 

It makes me laugh, so therefore... it is happiness.

#20/365 – The Comeback

2012

Alright, it's the time of the year that everyone makes some form of list, or at least takes a mental note, of what he/she should accomplish in the next 365 days. I can tell you that I am horrible with New Year resolutions. I have enough battles in my head, each morning, negotiating getting up. That being said, I discovered two things last year:

1. The concept of "one-step-at-a-time" – as long as I know there is a destination, I have enough mental focus to get there. Without a clear visual destination, I will procastinate.
2. Gamers are persistence with goals and small tasks (well, good gamers at least, which I will bite your head off if you even remotely argue I am anything but a good gamer) – being a gamer for nearly 3 decades, I got the patient to do tasks that are even the most boring things as long as there is a visual reward at the end, even if it's as stupid as a congratulations message "you have earned the ultimate-finished-everything-in-the-game trophy" or a piece of paper with all the goals crossed out. Without that visual reward, I will procastinate.

So here it is, based on these two discoveries, it is better for me to at least have a list of things I want to accomplish. This list will be like a game for me, they are like "side-missions" and I know I'm good with those.

Now, I've posted the list here. Most of them are quite self-contained except for a few that require some conditions from others. I think it's a very realistic list in which it will challenge me on some level but not too far-fetch.

I am pretty eager to start crossing things out on this list actually. To start, I'm going to make this entry part of my 365 days of happiness entries... because... making goals make me happy(?!)... oh shush, I just made bunch of goals and wrote two posts in 24 hours, at least cut me a slack on finding another thing to be happy about!

... and the negotiation begins...

Friends

365 Days of Happiness - #17/365 Friends

I had to take a break from the blog and this 365 days project for a week, as there were times that I truly cannot see the end of the tunnel. Trying to find something that is happy to talk about was as difficult to find a lost needle in the ocean at times the past week.

Now that I'm "back", there is one thing I truly want to say to all of you: thank you.

I know many of you read this blog and check-in on me on a regular basis. Even though some of you will never admit it, I know you do. Throughout the past little while, especially the last two weeks, I've been getting tremedous amount of supports from so many of you. Co-workers, blogger buddies, twitter tweeps and my long time friends, all of you had sent me messages, emails, encouraging comments to cheer me up and have given me strength. For that I feel that I am extremely lucky and honoured to have all of you. Most of you have no clue what is going on with me, but you all care and just wanted me to be better.

Some people say we live in the day and age where human interaction and communication is becoming numb. What I have experienced from all of you proved that theory to be wrong. All I received was unconditional love.

When I was doing my Buddhist prilgrimage. I had to study the meaning of the Kongokai Mandala. Kongokai roughly translates to "principles of the everlasting-bond" (or some refer it to "the principles of the diamond world). The Kongokai is a Mandala with many Buddhas and each one of them is always surrounded by four others.

To me, this Mandala always means each and everyone of us are deeply connected with each other. Each Buddha is its own center circle, yet that circle is also part of another circle. Each section of this Manadala has its own little "community", yet they all co-exist in the same world, reflecting and affecting each other. Nobody can exist in this world without some form of help and love from others, the Kongokai Mandala represents how important that connection is.

Recently, I haven't been able to focus on my Buddhist studies, but through all of you I learned a valuable lesson and the true meaning of Kongokai.

Thank you, my dear friends, for loving me

This is happiness.

6,000 steps

365 Days of Happiness - #16/365 6,000 steps

The news is full of negativity these days. Once in a while, however, you will read about something that touches you and make you feel warm and fuzzy. This one does the trick for me today. The news itself wasn't new, but I stubbled across it a few nights ago when I couldn't sleep (how ironic after I typed this only a few nights ago). Funny enough, on the night when I least expected to read about a story like this...

Man Carves Wife a 6,000 Stair Path in Mountain
weirdasiannews.com

A weird love story has come out of China recently and managed to touch the world. It is a story of a man and an older woman who ran off to live and love each other in peace for over half century.

Over 50 years ago, Liu, was a 19 years-old boy, fell in love with a 29 year-old widowed mother named Xu. At the time, it was unacceptable and immoral for a young man to love an older woman.

To avoid the market gossips, the couple decided to elope and lived in a cave in Jiangjin County in Southern ChongQing area.

In the beginning, they had nothing, no electricity or even food. They had to eat grass and roots they found in the mountain, and Liu made a kerosene lamp that they used to lighten up their lives.

Starting the second year of living in the mountain, Liu began, and continue for over 50 years, to hand carve the steps so that his wife could get down the mountain easily.

A half century later in 2001, a group of adventures were exploring the forest, they surprisingly found the elderly couple and the over 6,000 stairs of hand carved ladder.

“My parents loved each other so much, they have lived in seclusion for over 50 years and never been apart a single day.” Liu MingSheng, one of their seven children said, “He hand carved more than 6,000 steps over the years for my mother’s convenience, although she doesn’t go down the mountain that much.”

The couple had lived in peace for over 50 years until last week. Liu, now 72 years-old, returned from his daily farm work and collapsed. Xu sat and prayed with her husband as he passed away in her arms.

So in love with Xu, was Liu, that no one was able to release the grip he had on his wife’s hand even after he had passed away.

“You promised me you’ll take care of me, you’ll always be with me until the day I died, now you left before me, how am I going to live without you?” … …

Xu spent days softly repeating this sentence and touching her husband’s black coffin with tears rolling down her cheeks.

In 2006, their story had became one of the top 10 love stories from China, collected by the Chinese Women Weekly. The local government has decided to preserve the "love ladder" and the place they lived as a museum, so this love story can live forever.

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. - Eden Ahbez

This is happiness.

Flower of the Other Shore 彼岸花

365 Days of Happiness - #15/365 Flower of the Other Shore 彼岸花

(As I'm typing this, I have no idea how I can make this into an entry about happiness. I know, however, whenever I tell this story, it always give relief to the person I tell it to. So, I'll just continue typing until I can find the conclusion of this.)

There is this flower called Lycoris Radiata, also known as Red Spider Lily. In both Japanese and Chinese culture, this flower has some very special meanings.

The Red Spider Lily is called the 彼岸花 ("Flower of the Other Shore" aka "Flower of Paradise") in Chinese, and 曼珠沙華 [まんじゅしゃげ] (manjushaka) in Japanese.

In Chinese culture, three days before and after the Equinox is known as 彼岸 (other shore), and the Red Spider Lily precisely blossom around the the Autumn Equinox every year; hence its name. A special trait about this flower is that when the flower blossom, the leaves would have fallen; and when the leaves are growing, the flower would have already wilted. The two always miss each others in all its incarnates.

I have never seen this flower in real life, yet I know a couple legends about it.

It said that there is a river in the underworld called 忘川 (Forgotten River). Similar to River Stnx in Greek Mythology, the Forgotten River separates the underworld and the living world. When the dead crosses this river to get to the other side, all the memories of his/her past life will disappear. Growing on the shore of this river are these fiery Red Spider Lilies. Legend has it that the scent of the flowers will bring back all the beautiful memories of the dead for one last time, before they disappear when cross the river.

The other legend has it that when a relationship ended, no matter how sad it is, a Red Spider Lily will grow around the Forgotten River. To proof that the love did exist and something beautiful will always remain at the other side of the shore.

I find these two legends both sad yet beautiful.

My favourite songstress, Faye Wong, wrote a song titled this flower. The song is the conclusion of a five part journey about searching for love: 寒武記 The Cambrian Era (the beginning), 新房客 New Tenant (opening up), 香奈兒 Channel (the joy), 阿修羅 Ashura (the conflict), 彼岸花 Paradise Flower (the end/rebirth).

 

 彼岸花 Paradise Flower
王菲 Faye Wong

看見的 Those that I saw
熄滅了 It extinguished

消失的 Those that disappeared
記住了 I remembered

我站在 I stand
海角天涯 At the edge of the world

聽見 I heard
土壤萌芽 Sprouting beneath the soil

等待 Waiting
曇花再開 For Night-blooming Cereus¹ to bloom again

把芬芳 Leaving
留給年華 Wonderful scents to the era

彼岸 Paradise
沒有燈塔 Have no lighthouse

我依然 I still
張望著 Look ahead

天黑 It's dark
刷白了頭髮 Hair turning gray

緊握著 Gripping
我火把 Onto my torch

他來 He comes
我對自己說 I tell myself

我不害怕 I'm not afraid
我很愛他 I do love him

Life is full of regrets, but at the end, there are always beautiful things remain. Whether they are happy memories, unconditional love or just a foundation to build a better future, there is always a brighter side to things than it seems.

I guess this is the reason for this post. I guess this is the reason to live. I guess this is the reason to have hope.

This is happiness.

 

---

¹ Night-blooming Cereus or Epiphyllum Oxypetalum blooms rarely and only at night - mysteriously, the flower wilts before dawn.The Chinese idiom 曇花一現 (Once every Epiphyllum Oxypetalum) uses this flower to describe beautiful things are often short-lived. Wikipedia

Hugs

365 Days of Happiness - #14/365 Hugs

I was born in a culture that doesn't do much hugging. I am glad that I grew up and am living in one that does.

I have to admit, before I understand the concept of hugging, when I was little, I was fairly intimidated by it. partly it's the idea of touching another human being closely, partly because I wasn't comfortable enough with my sexuality that I think boys will think I like them and, even scarier thoughts, the girls will think I like them. As I get older though, and finally opening up and allowing people to come into my world, I am dying to get a hug from people.

One simple hug, it breaks all the distance you have with another human being. You are attached to the person and at the same time "watching each other's back". It is a gesture of love, protection and trust. It transfers energy from one person to another and two people become one with arms shaping like ying and yang. Because of this reason, as a monk, I can always recall this "intimate" moment I have with anyone and use it as an access point if I ever need to send good vibes through space spiritually.

A blogger friend, Matterdays, said in his 100 Things About Me which summarize what hugging means to me: "Even just a quick hug and an 'everything will be okay' gives me huge amounts of strength".

Thank you the amazingly talented Dave2 of Blogography for the Davetoon above. You might not know, the toon couldn't have came at a better timing.

This is happiness.