As much as I want to keep myself from thinking about the past, sometimes it still can be difficult. Today is one of those days that I couldn't stop thinking about the "what ifs".
What if things didn't happen the way that it did; what if the mistake hadn't been made. What if we've never met; what if we left it at friends. What if I told you earlier; what if you've forgiven me. So many what ifs, so many possibilities, yet things happened this way.
Sometimes I'd like to think there are parallel universes, where each of the what if has its own timeline. How many of them will be a happy ending? How many of them will end with the same result? How many of me will still be lonely?
In one of them everyone will be happy, right? In one of them for sure we will all sit around and laugh about it one day. In one of them we know we've made the right decision, right? In one of them there will be no guilt or sorrow. In one of them I won't be thinking about the what ifs...
So many what ifs, so many universes. Which one am I in? I am in the "right one", right?
This is like reading my life, after I broke up with kate I went through all of this, we had got to the point after 2years that hey maybe we should have children, and for sometime afterwards although I didn't say to anyone, but I did think WHAT IF, even though in my life I subscribe to the teachings from my family & Buddhism " That Nothing is Permanent & Things Change " , and after Kate I had met a couple of others who I thought wow and turned out all they wanted or liked was my money I guess at least in the end they was honest with me... So these days I am caution but OPEN cause I believe someone May come into my life this lifetime.....
I am totally loving your blogs, cause when you write it like triggers something I hadn't thought about.
Posted by: Hugobrown | January 12, 2012 at 08:51 PM
@hugo Thanks for sharing your story. You are right, life is sporadic and we can't predict what is going to be for us. And someone will come into your life. Doesn't matter what form, shape or time it is, treasure it. Because when it happens, it's wonderful!
Posted by: Buddhafied | January 12, 2012 at 11:22 PM